Nature's Comic Gifts

"And I thought mine was plain."

'Tough luck, big guy - as of last Friday, I'm on the endangered species list.'

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

'Go on, Andy, it's high time anteaters learned size isn't everything!'

'Hang on a minute: What does 'IVF' mean?!'

Deer Season Open.

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

'Wow, Jimmy, that's pretty good!'

'That's one hell of a cat-flap Harry. You must have a big cat, heh, heh.'

Try me/try me/try me...

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

Yet another law of the jungle: 'Absolutely NO howling at the moon after 11 PM!

"Get out of my face!"

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

'My goodness,Ralph,let him have it.It's only a measly old meal worm.'

I told you we were late!

"Jeepers, I didn't know anything could gets so hot!"

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

Happy birthday Dung Beetle

"I'm fascinated by body language."

'Pray for me.'

"Did you just do a rooster?"

"Peach fuzz. How does a nectarine know when it reaches puberty?"

"So, I've heard you call yourself 'King of the Jungle'! Based on what criteria exactly?"

'We have Vanilla, Chocolate and Strawberry on your choice of Cedar, Oak or Elm cone...'

Slug Bait- snails love it

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'

Penguin

"Toadstool you say? No, this is snailstool now!"

"Promise me that if I die first you won't eat me."

Just a little seasoning...

Birds on a wire, "Bernie?...Oh he's gone cable!"