Nature Nuzzlers Pillows

"I envy you. I'd love to have a house with a fireplace."

The Classy Dog: 'Dine & dance hotdogs: '50 cents a dance'.

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

It's beginning to smell a lot like Christmas

'Before we staqrt biting do you practice catch and release?'

"Hey - Them too, huh?"

"Hop in Joey, it's bath time."

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

"Is it just me, or is the pollen particularly bad this year?"

"Welcome to the Short Staffed Cafe serving food like your grandma cooked. Is your grandma busy? We really need a cook."

"Since he retired, he hasn't quite figured out what to do with himself!"

'Crumbs! I'm holding out for the whole loaf.'

My boat

Marmalade the Cheetah on stilts.

What can I get you? Coffee? Tea? Sandwich? The mackerel mocha sounds lovely. What's in it? The usual. Chocolate. Soy milk. Mackerel. Yes, but is the mackerel farm-raised or from the sea? Ocean. Atlantic? Pacific? Indian? Arctic? Antarctic? I'm not sure. Oh. Ok ... well what's the mackerel's mercury content? Negligible, I'm sure. Ok. Was it exposed to any chlorine? Or copper sulphate? Or malathion? Was it treated with kindness? Was it read stories and sung to before bedtime? Yes. Never mind, it s

A vampire lays in his coffin and he has put his vampire dentures in a glass beside the coffin.

"Come on, just try it."

Foolish Sid turns to look, and is immediately tackled and devoured by the duck.

Exercise for the end of the day...

Foodie Bank

'I don't care if it has lettuce, tomato, special sauce on a sesame bun...it's still liver!'

"When I was a child I spoke as a child... but when I became a man I put away childish things... except for my Cocoa Puffs... I still love Cocoa Puffs."

Man eating 'after work mints'

A turtle takes a bath.

Ditching Masks as Lockdown Eases

"Man, I love roughing it out here... but this trail mix is making my fingers sticky!"

'Well, it might be hard to believe now, but in my youth, I was the fastest animal on land...'

'Second childhood menu, please!'

Lavender under my pillow helps me sleep! At least until the hay fever kicks in!

'We're slowly disappearing, Marty. Shouldn't we do something?'

"He says he's three months late because of Readers' Block!"

If I don't, he'll just wander off.

"It's really freaking me out!! Every time I go for a walk I hear footsteps behind me. I stop, they stop, I turn around..."

'She went down 80 years ago, and there's still a line to get to the wine bar.'

"I miss indoor dining"