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The Nectar Times

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

"They grow up so fast."

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

'Upon entering the rain forest...' 'Thousands of unknown species, and we can fool around with the genes of every one of them.'

It's estimated that millions of trees are planted by forgetful squirrels.

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"

The Dance of the Penguins Once the March Is Over

Vegetarian Birds

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

The Age of Reptiles. . .

'Now for today's numbers...'Bad Dogs' outnumbered 'Good Dogs' by two-to-one...'

DUNVOTIN

"Come on, we've thought of 492 names surely we can get one more"

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

'Did you just hear that? We are now and endangered species and mating is now our top priority!'

Europe and immigration.

"Hey Neil, you wanna come hang out with us today?"

Local News in Heaven

'Mixed news from the federal reserve...interest rates will drop on savings but will go up on loans.'

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

"The homes in this area are beautiful."

Rock and a Hard Place

"Well, if you didn't do anything in North Korea, then why do they keep launching missiles at us?"

Economy Slows: 'It's still too fast for me.'

Newspaper suicide.

European Union Health and Safety Direcorate rules

'You're not really that much help, Ben.'

'Mr. President, I have a question, where's the mens' room?'

Early Bird Gets the Worm/Night Owl Does the Worm

'Look at those arms! I was born to ride a Harley Davidson!'

Bush and his exit 'strategery'

'It was great seeing you again Terry, we must do wildebeest sometime.'

"... And in Canada today ... nothing happened."