Nature Lover's Laugh Gifts

'I do admire your honesty in your garden planning.'

"Of course it's not clean energy -- We don't have clean ANYTHING!"

"Don't drink that natural spring water! The aquifer's polluted with agrochemicals!"

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

Bird Bath.

"Why on earth do you insist on coming to this miserable, isolated, rocky, small island every year to roost? It's covered in guano! Disgusting..."

Tree Mobsters. 'I didn't hear anything. Did you hear anything?' 'I didn't hear anything.'

Saving for Retirement.

"You are aware that’s a golf ball?"

Split the last one?

'Health Benefits of a Vegan Diet... How the heck did this get here?'

"Just the steak for me and my friend will have the carbon dioxide and the water with the sunlight."

'Good, lots of waxy buildup.'

"Can we not fly in a "V"? Victor broke up with me."

The natural selection process in golf.

"Fake."

Closed for Summer.

'I told you. I'll be home with dinner just as soon as it dies.'

Walrus Grooming.

You'll never believe what that house is for.

Goose

Timber!

'Hey Irma....food fight!'

Going Hunting.

"Yeah, I'm already 24 hours old, way past my physical peak: I need to find a mate quick..."

"Ol' coy sounds beautiful tonight. He's accidentally sat on a cactus."

Snail in desert sees sign for shade trees.

'Look out. Oil slick approaching.'

'morning

"Nature has a twisted sense of humor."

"Gosh, she's sexy!"

I'm a clam, he's a lark, you're in slop. The joy here should be palpable.

"One more version of 'Climb Every Mountain' and I'll throttle you."