Nature Hike Gifts

"F.Y.I., sweetie, bears are attracted to drama."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

Bitchbark Canoe

"Ahhh... close enough."

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

'Boy, the fish are really biting today, aren't they, Fred?'

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"Where else in the world would you get such wonderful sunsets?"

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

The experienced backpacker.

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

Squirrels Stockpiling Mulling Spices for Winter

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

'What the... MOM! This isn't deer! It's a yucky tourist again!!'

Man painting over a 'You are here' sign.

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

"If you're tired of stegosaur, go kill something else."

"You do realize you can't take that one home."

Skiing.

Local Knowledge

'Don't feel bad — all tree huggers get a splinter now and then.'

Transylvanian backpackers.

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

"You were right: I don't like water, but I do love snow!"

"Tommy!"

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

An astronaut fishes in volcanoes on another planet.

'Yessir, Ben us fly fisherman answer to a higher calling.'

"Canadian Mt. ‘Rush’more"

'I love our hideaway. I only wish we could find it.'

'He just burst into my campsite, and broke my banjo!'