Hiking Trip Gifts

'Don't worry, if we are attaked I will always put you first.'

"The lakes are getting more like a theme park."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

Bitchbark Canoe

"Ahhh... close enough."

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

'Boy, the fish are really biting today, aren't they, Fred?'

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"Where else in the world would you get such wonderful sunsets?"

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

The experienced backpacker.

Squirrels Stockpiling Mulling Spices for Winter

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

'What the... MOM! This isn't deer! It's a yucky tourist again!!'

Man painting over a 'You are here' sign.

"You do realize you can't take that one home."

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

"If you're tired of stegosaur, go kill something else."

Skiing.

'Don't feel bad — all tree huggers get a splinter now and then.'

Transylvanian backpackers.

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

"You were right: I don't like water, but I do love snow!"

"Tommy!"

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

An astronaut fishes in volcanoes on another planet.

'Yessir, Ben us fly fisherman answer to a higher calling.'

Support Group for a Good Problem

"Canadian Mt. ‘Rush’more"

'I love our hideaway. I only wish we could find it.'

'He just burst into my campsite, and broke my banjo!'