Natural Parenting Advocate Pillows

"Is she breastfeeding in public?! That's disgusting!"

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

"We sing her to sleep with songs about recycling."

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

'Dad, I don't need a two-thirds majority to over-ride your veto. I've got mom.'

"Don't make me turn this covered wagon around!"

"Now you know how Daddy feels when Mommy overdraws the checkbook."

Look at it this way: You're changing the future of the nation...one diaper at a time!

"May I remind you that my core worth as a human being remains constant, and isn't tied to external validation."

No bottle feeding.

"Trust me, with me in charge, your kid will behave and be safe..."

'My own debit card would really be a great way to teach me the value of a dollar.'

'We now feel it's best that baby keeps her security blanket until she's old enough for a cell phone.'

Modern Baby Mobiles

'No we are not there yet, we're just leaving our drive!'

'I'm qualified to deal with any traumatic event because I've raised five children.'

"I had a lot more freedom before mom got the drone."

'No need to make a judgement, King Solomon, we can run a DNA test.'

'But darling, instinct only gets you so far in life: You need to go to school as well...'

"Don't use that howl language with me!"

'I'm begging you, please don't let me go!'

'You've got to keep it straight. With Mom it's burping, with Dad it's running in the house.'

"What changed? I once said a bad word when I was real little, and everyone laughed!"

'I don't get it. All we eat is hay and grass, and yet we're a veritable storehouse of cholesterol.'

"It's from the We Experience Parenthood More Fully Than You collection."

"And we're just so proud you're walking to school alone. Aren't we, Harold?"

Kids, kids. Did you forget it was Mother's Day again?

"I raised three kids, so you could say I was in risk management."

"Mommm! I know you said ''no,' but it wasn't your usual firm 'no' that I admire and respect so much!"

'Now that's what I call a sneeze!'

"Use a fork."

The Toddler's Conscience

Dad doesn't initiate much legislation, but he uses his veto power a lot.