Natural Ingredient Lover Gifts

The sword in the all-natural impossible-to-stir peanut butter.

"You're the lid to my pot."

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

'Want a mudpie? It's organic!'

'I never knew baking was such a violent activity. You have to beat the eggs, whip the cream, and mash the nuts.'

'There was sizzle but no steak.'

Bookworm in book, sign reads: 'Tome, Sweet Tome.'

"I couldn't have made my family recipe raisin date nut cake with it's secret ingredient without Jimmy's help."

Sawdust.

'Does any of your bread just have bread in it?'

'Jingling your change won't get us a better table.'

'Just add eggs. That sounds easy.'

"It all comes down to the aging and fermentation process."

'this is the only place where no one is fooling around with the genes.'

"I'm not feeling well. I'm picking up a few things at my pharmacy."

'It's anxiety. Don't worry, vitamin B happy.'

"I'm going to a concert by a really famous superstar....he deserves to be pelted with expensive organic tomatoes!"

GMOs

Kitchen - Sign reads 'Out of Hors D'Oeuvres.'

Le Gourmet Bistro. Paging Mister Zah, paging Mister Zah. Do we have a Pete Zah here?

Virgin Olive Oil. Not-Virgin-But-Has-A-Heart-Of-Gold Olive Oil.

"...and into each box, we now put a tiny amount of antidote to counteract all the additives."

I'm not buying a $25 set of boring hooded towels off a big box store baby shower registry. Mom fights the man! The local baby boutique will have a hipper selection. So true! Catch those adorable all-organic, artist-designed towels! Cute! And only $55 each! My pretentions are never cheap!

"What is it going to be, a breakfast or shampoo?"

'You order the jumbo combo?'

"What do you recommend that's fit for a king?"

"Expensive coffee is a cheap vacation."

"Right now I'm enjoying that brief period between having just lost weight and putting it back on."

'Why not just buy a tube?'

One reason why bio-tech agribusiness are very glas that their genetically-altered produce can't talk: "Moooo!"