National Security Nerd Gifts

'This one is for not targeting Richard Clarke on his book-signing tour.'

President S Grant's Proposed Civil Service Reform not to the Taste of Certain Senators

"I think earth's antivirus software expired."

"I think retrieving the info from that harddrive might be a little tricky."

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

"Worst budget cuts ever!"

US fears missile competition.

Official Rhetoric About Leakers and Whistleblowers, Translated

"Honey, our pop-up blocker stopped working again."

>Enter new password: BEEF STEW >Password not stroganoff.

Holding the Line Against Terrorists with Midrange IQs

Obama's Tribute Hiroshima

"No, I'm not able to transplant your computer's antivirus software into your body. Try washing your hands more often."

"This locket contains my very first username and password."

"So you are the data protection supervisor of the German government?"

'China's on the phone, Mr. President -- they say you're overdrawn.'

'I say we forget about these particular chickens...'

"Choose wisely. Your choice will be the answers to security questions for the rest of your life."

Afghanistan 2001 and 2021

Uncle Sam dumping the U.S Constitution over a cliff

Pomeroy is terrified somebody will break into his files. A real case of "hackrophobia"!

'I can't tell you what I spent for reasons of national security.'

CCTV

"Now I have to change my dog's name so I can remember my new password."

'Don't open that attachment!'

Remembering passwords.

"This is the break room, where we watch reruns of classic security footage."

"Do you ever worry about identity theft?"

I do all of my banking online now.

Hacks of the Very Near Future

"For security, our signs need to be at least eight characters long."

Death to the Extremists

"I don't understand. I hired a security guard to stand here and watch my computer, and someone still hacked into it and stole my data."

'Yes, the prodigal son is in Russia!'

That Man Is Dangerous