Narcissism Ponderer Gifts

Selfie-Conscious

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"Needs to get a life"

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

"You dropped yer wallet."

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

Modern Narcissism

Max Weber

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

"Is this as good a bad time as any other bad time you've experienced?"

"It's Eden. You don't have to keep checking for ticks."

Telling Self to Buzz Off

'Do you get the feeling we're being watched?'

Psychiatry ward with 'Inhibited' and 'Outgoing' trays.

'Well, that brings us up to my third birthday...'

"Oh come now, Mr And Mrs narcissus, Have you two been fighting again?"

That's no big deal, a lot of people get Siskel and Ebert mixed up

Caption Contest TK

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."

"I love it when you quote my blog back to me."

"It's great things are back to normal, except that there are people everywhere."

'I can feel it, Henderson - Someone out there is up to no good.'

It's 10PM. Do you know if you're under electronic surveillance from a spy satellite?

'It's not just his insane jealousy - he also insists on choosing all my clothes.'

"Bernie has fear of commitment - He thinks the American Psychiatric Association is out to get him."