Naming Tradition Fan Pillows

'We just realized, Pit-O-Vipers; you never got chance to earn your name.'

The Running of the Brie

Pet Cemetery.

'And though he died during the hunt, we can only assume that George L Jones would want this new species of butt-faced clown monkey to forever bear his name.'

First O.M.G. church.

"You have what we are going to call Klitson's Disease, Mr. Klitson."

Yale shadow

Soldier With Mouse Ears.

"And the boss says to enjoy the fruitcake."

"I couldn't decide what to give up for Lent, so I gave it all up."

I wish somebody had told me "Prince Charming" is an ironic nickname his fraternity gave him!

'The boss came up and said, 'there are too many guys named Kevin around here' and so - I was fired!'

"...and while you're at it, pick yourself up a pair of nose-hair clippers."

'I stay out of the sun and use a fan: That way, I don't need to roll in the mud to keep cool...'

Viking Funeral

Is-you-is-or-is-you-ain't my baby!

You've renamed your small coffee? It's called a big now. That's absurd! It's the same size - the smallest size! It's marketing hooey! Why not call this napkin a scone?! Careful. Huh? Brilliant! Sale on scones! Oh dear.

"Not yet ANOTHER flippin' Aaron? How about his biblical brother, Moses?"

"I'm beginning to think getting central heating was a mistake."

"My name is socks. Yours?"

'Wh...what? House of straw? House of sticks? But that was so long ago!'

"Actually, it's Paul E."

"Find one that uses only A, D, G, I, M, N, T and will be easier for him to text her when she's a teenager."

"You'll still be upfront old buddy, but Siri will be calling all the shots tonight. . . I've got to move with the times!"

Santa takes the lift to the roof.

Peter Cottontail's Blog.

'If you really loved me you'd never have called me Euthanasia!'

Defeat

Just Abducted.

101 uses of a dead cat: fan

Linda? Amy? Yvonne? C'mon, just tell me! Maybe I should start over

"Living 900 years is all right, but your great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandchildren never come to visit."

"Funny, that's what Grandpa used to say."

"Cheese!"

Rodney was slightly off-put while experiencing his first kiester egg hunt.