Quirky Naming Fan Pillows

"My name is socks. Yours?"

He looks so natural lying there...

"Play 'Misty' for me."

Baptism Then and Now

'And in local news: Someone is hiding behind the drapes.'

Naming that Impala

"Undiagnosed serial killer"

Dog detectives

'Then again, who says we can't call it a mangelwurzel?'

"Another clear case of COVID19."

'He's been shot!'

'The paintings are neolithic, I suspect the Mustaches wee added by a later people.'

The big break in the case of the missing French Fries: 'But just to make sure, can you have each of them squawk.'

'Don Francesco, scusi... But while we were burying Luigi, some joggers ran into us... So we had to bury five corpses altogether...'

Recollections of a Retired Butler

Police are searching for a male between 16 and 25 years, with a silky sheer taupe complexion and a run over his left eye.

"Okay, now this time just start chasing the squirrel instead of asking it to dance."

Cover Design for the Yellow Book, Vol 1

Changing house name.

"He might have fallen but these tire marks suggest something completely different"

Mr. Hyde writing the unauthorized autobiography of Dr. Jekyll

Nobody new the identity of the mad bandager

'Mystery egg.'

"You want something retrieved? You've come to the right place!"

'Aren't they wonderful? And your wife's already named them John and Edward.'

'I'm afarid your son has all the classic elements of geekism,minus the technical expertise.'

'How did I find you? Let's just say a little bird told me.'

'So Mr. Smith. . . how exactly are you 'uniquely talented' in the field of shoplifting prevention?'

"We're for calling it 'Hampton,' but they want to call it 'the Hamptons.' "

The Last Planters Peanut Day.

'The DNA proves you were unjustly convicted, and, in fact, you're the Grand Duke of Luxembourg.'

"Throttled woth strands of al dente spaghetti, it looks like a Mafia job."