Quirky Naming Fan Pillows

"My name is socks. Yours?"

He looks so natural lying there...

Pet Cemetery.

"Play 'Misty' for me."

Baptism Then and Now

'And in local news: Someone is hiding behind the drapes.'

Naming that Impala

"Undiagnosed serial killer"

Dog detectives

"Sure. I know of a haystack on the edge of town where you'll be safe until the heat dies down."

'Then again, who says we can't call it a mangelwurzel?'

"Another clear case of COVID19."

'He's been shot!'

The big break in the case of the missing French Fries: 'But just to make sure, can you have each of them squawk.'

'The paintings are neolithic, I suspect the Mustaches wee added by a later people.'

Recollections of a Retired Butler

Police are searching for a male between 16 and 25 years, with a silky sheer taupe complexion and a run over his left eye.

"Okay, now this time just start chasing the squirrel instead of asking it to dance."

'Don Francesco, scusi... But while we were burying Luigi, some joggers ran into us... So we had to bury five corpses altogether...'

Mr. Hyde writing the unauthorized autobiography of Dr. Jekyll

Cover Design for the Yellow Book, Vol 1

Nobody new the identity of the mad bandager

"He might have fallen but these tire marks suggest something completely different"

Changing house name.

'How did I find you? Let's just say a little bird told me.'

'Mystery egg.'

'I'm afarid your son has all the classic elements of geekism,minus the technical expertise.'

'Aren't they wonderful? And your wife's already named them John and Edward.'

"I knew it was just a matter of time before the sheep hit the fan."

"You want something retrieved? You've come to the right place!"

'So Mr. Smith. . . how exactly are you 'uniquely talented' in the field of shoplifting prevention?'

"We're for calling it 'Hampton,' but they want to call it 'the Hamptons.' "

'The DNA proves you were unjustly convicted, and, in fact, you're the Grand Duke of Luxembourg.'

I heard you're on your way to Europe to secure a source of black market hepatitis C drugs. What? What are you talking about? I deny everything. Where did you hear that? You added an airplane pillow, the "German For Dummies," the book "Hep C and You," and "Smugglerco Duffel Bag w/Secret Compartment" to your Amazon wishlist. I ordered you the book "Not Everyone Is Cut Out For A Life Of Crime." I deny everything.

The Last Planters Peanut Day.