Name Game Fan Pillows

'The boss came up and said, 'there are too many guys named Kevin around here' and so - I was fired!'

Evolution.

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

Doglike man to vampire: 'Call me an apprentice werewolf, or even a beginner werewolf, but don't call me an under werewolf!'

'Red rover, red rover, send Billy right over!'

"An educational toy is my immediate goal, but my long range plan is to get him on Jeapordy!"

"The official measure of an inch is three iPhones stacked on top of each other."

'A boy at school was named after his father. They've called him Dad.'

Airport

Pokemon Get Lost

'You've caught a bad chill. You must avoid draughts for a couple of weeks.'

Have you seen my iPhone? No. You lost it? I may have misplaced it. Big deal. You hate it. It'll turn up. Exactly, I hate it. I absolutely hate it. I especially hate the Scrabble app and I absolutely can't wait to find the phone so I can mock it further! Help: I love my iPhone. Oh dear. Trouble brewing. To be continued ...

Prize vegetables with rude names.

"Very angry birds"

Sporting maladies.

"I'm afraid pretty much every esoteric company name is taken so we're left with 'Mugwump', 'Grungydink' or 'Buh'."

"Perhaps we'd be more likely to reach an agreement if the British delegate would stop shouting 'Deal or no deal' all the time."

'It's my pseudonym.'

Academic Jeopardy - "This was Titian's favorite after-dinner dessert."

Can I be Frank with you?

The horses are off and "Movie Star" take the lead. Here comes "Freight Train" on the rail. Around the bend and down the stretch "Yoge Pose" takes the lead. It might be "Short Circuit" at the wire. No! The winner is "Selfie" in a photo finish!

'Hey, we're doing an office pool on who gets to bust that illegal card game on Main.'

"Seriously? You guys couldn't do any better than Frank?"

'I'll know Mr. Right when I see him. Upon marriage, he'll be willing to change his last name to mine.'

Palindromedary.

'Choked on his own vomit. I wonder how many points you get for that.'

Carl thought Jesus was the answer...

"I actually prefer Richard..."

Murder on the Newlywed Game.

'I'm not Sandy. I thought you were Sandy.'

"My parents named me Bill because I was past due when I was born."

'And do you, Betty take Walter...or the mystery box your mother is holding?'

'Wow! What graphics.'

'Chlamydia, that's a new one on me.'

"It's so nice out, we decided to let our phones play outside."