Name Analyst Gifts

Kerry Smith didn't resign. We sacked him for having a girl's name.

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

Light Bulb Moment

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

The Life of Pi

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

"Morning, all!"

Lethal Presentation

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

Time Is Money

A presenter with a very complex chart to explain a business plan - 'And it's as simple as that!'

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

Crap from the future.

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

"Perhaps this slide whistle can better illustrate what this graph is telling us."

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

'Hey, the quarter wasn't so bad after all.'

"Just heading out for a good cry, care to join me?"

Six Thinking Hats

"Let's get married, Miss Harris, and have 2.8 children!"

"Fill me in so I can panic too."

"Thank god you're early. It's a can of worms."

"We've done a rigorous examination of your business plan using the latest algorithms to model future profits. . . which way up would you like it?"

Man at desk has a desk tray labeled "In one ear,' and another labeled "Out the other."

"Was that my pager or yours?"