Nail Whisperer Gifts

The Hammer

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

Concert Pianist.

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

Knit One, Pearl One, Drop One.

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

"I have a couple of other projects I'm excited about."

"Do you have any knitting patterns for somebody who can only count to five?"

Signs of Aging: Light headedness, shortening, waxy skin, burn out and hot flashes.

Hammer and chisel discussing what they've been doing, chisel says; 'Oh you know, getting into a few scrapes.'

'She seems to think I only have one thing on my mind.'

'...and that is my philosophy.'

"I'm a monster."

"Have you seen that sweater that you crocheted for me?"

Woman applying makeup

'Please forgive me for anything I've said or left unsaid.'

"Dad! The bathroom pipes are clogged up!"

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

"Look, the numbers don't lie."

'My hair is so bad I have to cut it myself. I tried going to a hair salon once - they just yelled at it.'

Perhaps we could get the Saatchis to pain a pretty picture.

'I gave her that ball of yarn...'

"And if your teeth could hear you, Larry, what would you say to them?"

Psychiatrist interview an irrational number

I can read this audit, but HOW should I read it...What is my MOTIVATION, how do I bring these figures to life,make them sing!... Colin often wondered whether accountancy had been the right career choice for him

"I'm sorry, Mr. Wilson, but your hair just doesn't say anything to me today."

"We ran the numbers on how climate change will affect economic growth, but the numbers got so spooked they just kept running."

The Upholstery Consultant

The Gallery Guard Unravelling the Wool of a Jumper on a Painting, Creating a Nude.

Granny Wear

"I now recognize the basement was a bad idea."

'That's my husband, Brad. He's a dentist.'