Naïve Historian Pillows

"Wouldn't it have been faster for Columbus just to fly to the new world?"

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

Archimedes statue with a lever

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

'Yorick? No, I don't think so, unless of course he was a Neanderthal!'

'I'm sure he was a great guy, but there's a new Pharaoh in town.'

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

"I find that hugely offensive!"

He looks so natural lying there...

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

"I couldn't care less if being Homo Sapiens is the latest trend. While you're living in our cave, you better act like a true Neanderthal."

"Believe me it's only an apple."

Split Decision

"Perhaps it was too soon for a self-driving wheel."

Jane Austen Powers

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Pied Piper

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

Surge Plans.

'You can't recuse yourself from a war!'

Forensic evidence now proves that the shots in the balcony weren't meant for the President, but rather the show's cast.

Shakespeare actually had to paraphrase Julius Caesar's last words.

E=MC2, 'You think you're pretty smart, don't you?'

"... No, when I say, 'you must let go of the past' I mean you must return that vase to the museum you took it from."

"....After ten o'clock is quiet time on board for the comfort of our passengers."

Middle East - Abbas and Hanya

"Some dinosaurs died out more quickly than others" "You want some?"

A caveman attempting to make a cart

'I can not tell a lie concerning the cherry tree: mistakes were made. However, I must consult with my spin doctors before saying more.'

"R.V. Lintel- Inventor of Polyroc

Gladstone Gives Disraeli a Bloody Nose over Schleswig-Holstein

Famous Pieces of Paper

USA-China, trade war.

The Thing That Won't Leave

Well, that was a total waste of time!