Naïve Historian Pillows

"Wouldn't it have been faster for Columbus just to fly to the new world?"

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

Archimedes statue with a lever

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

'Yorick? No, I don't think so, unless of course he was a Neanderthal!'

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

'I'm sure he was a great guy, but there's a new Pharaoh in town.'

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

"I find that hugely offensive!"

He looks so natural lying there...

"I couldn't care less if being Homo Sapiens is the latest trend. While you're living in our cave, you better act like a true Neanderthal."

"Believe me it's only an apple."

'You can't recuse yourself from a war!'

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

Surge Plans.

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Pied Piper

Forensic evidence now proves that the shots in the balcony weren't meant for the President, but rather the show's cast.

Shakespeare actually had to paraphrase Julius Caesar's last words.

Gladstone Gives Disraeli a Bloody Nose over Schleswig-Holstein

"Some dinosaurs died out more quickly than others" "You want some?"

"....After ten o'clock is quiet time on board for the comfort of our passengers."

A caveman attempting to make a cart

'I can not tell a lie concerning the cherry tree: mistakes were made. However, I must consult with my spin doctors before saying more.'

USA-China, trade war.

"R.V. Lintel- Inventor of Polyroc

Famous Pieces of Paper

Middle East - Abbas and Hanya

"... No, when I say, 'you must let go of the past' I mean you must return that vase to the museum you took it from."

Well, that was a total waste of time!

The Bronze Age of Television