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'What do you mean, you BROKE the sword in the stone?'

Shepherd and eurydice

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

Couple looking at the statue of Eros by moonlight.

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.

Venus

Vlad the Impala

Lady of the bath...

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

Here be dragons.

Archimedes helps Sisyphus

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

“...And on the ninth day God created mosquitoes, just to annoy the hell out of everyone.”

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

'...this is Loch Lomand!'

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

"...You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here... You talking to me?!" "Narcissus De Niro"

Wotan with eye patch

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

Neptune

Warrior Woman

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

A surprise in heaven

Trojan Hurdler.

'That was close...hit me right in the wallet.'

"Wait, am I hear for you or are you here for me?"

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

"If this Goliath bloke is as big as they say, I can just hang around the forest until he's gone."