Mythical Meme Lovers Pillows

"Having bitten the apple I think we should cover our phones with fig-leaves."

"OMG, LOL!"

"How can you expect anyone else to believe in you when you don't believe in yourself?"

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

"Bob, the whole Cupid thing is a metaphor."

'My upper body strength is fine but I'd been neglecting my legs.'

David and Goliath.

'Mom... Dad... I'm a bottom feeder!'

Thracebook..

"I've had my eye on you for some time"

"I only wish emails could deliver papercuts."

"I really gotta turn off these notifications."

Yeah, I do the same thing – sniff their posts but never contribute. Dog lurkers.

"Add Your Own Caption Week # 222"

'He says its a subprime fruit we can have at an adjustable rate, what's the worst that could happen?'

"It's a recipe for apple pie."

Grim Reaper - Hospital nursery

"This new guy's really good!"

Mummy reading a book in his sarcophagus.

"Go on. Throw the stick."

'Listen I think we should break up...it's not you... it's that thing on your face.'

'Some dope wished to live for a thousand years, so I turned him into a sequoia!'

Woman emulating 'The Scream' painting when a black sock is found in the whites only washing.

'Again. . . why are we expelling these two?'

'What do you mean it's not as good as your mother used to make?'

Bad Nilotic Deity! Bad!

'I don't think the posts online are for scratching.'

God's Writers Block

Jesus turns water into Vitamin Water.

God has an attack of vertigo

"I really got burned by my last advisor. He told me NOT to quit my day job..."

'Well! There's no need for that!'

"Bob, when I said "let him sniff your hand first," I meant the dog."

With one sentence, Harold destroys the leprechaun's reason for being...