Mystical Meme Lovers Pillows

Warning: Spoilers Ahead

"I always check twitter before work, to see if yesterday's joke got me the sack."

"OMG, LOL!"

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

"This is a company which is going places...."

"Someone has hacked into our Computer."

"Sir, I have a question that's lunch-related."

'for more obit info, go to...'

'My upper body strength is fine but I'd been neglecting my legs.'

"I propose we build a panic room."

'You see me coming here every week and paying you fifty dollars...'

Politics In The Workplace

The Situation Room Has Gotten Weird

'Here's a composite of our target consumer.'

Yeah, I do the same thing – sniff their posts but never contribute. Dog lurkers.

'You will go 3 for 5 tomorrow.'

"I only wish emails could deliver papercuts."

Grumpy Cow

"All I'm saying is, why do we always have to sit on just one side of the table, all bunched up?"

"Out bending spoons at Pop's diner."

"Hurry - get the family. I think he's about to communicate his final angry retweet."

"Having bitten the apple I think we should cover our phones with fig-leaves."

'Ssssssh! There it is again. Hear that? It sounds like a muffled scream.'

Woman emulating 'The Scream' painting when a black sock is found in the whites only washing.

'Again. . . why are we expelling these two?'

Wrong Address

Jesus turns water into Vitamin Water.

'I see you reaching into your wallet for a twenty dollar bill.'

'I don't think the posts online are for scratching.'

How do I keep coming up with these zany kid shananigans? I get them from zanykidshanaigans.com!

"Bob, when I said "let him sniff your hand first," I meant the dog."

"As you can see from the flow chart, the problem stems from a lack of direction."

"I've followed this guy on social media for years, so I figure I can't go wrong following him in real life..."

'This is the part of the job I hate.'

"Yes, I'm sure! The Failure Virus! It just wiped out Sales and Accounting, and it's headed YOUR way!"