Mythical Marathoner Pillows

'Tortoise beats Hare...subject to performance enhancing drug test results.'

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

'It's a note...It says I.O.U. one pot of gold.'

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

"Let's finish off our night of being productive by starting another season."

"Blood pressure 210/140. Heart rate 185. Steps taken 29. Sedentary 9.5 hours. Calories burned 19. You da man! Oh, and you're out of pork rinds." "Our classics TV marathon featuring 'Gunsmoke' will continue after..." "The unfitbit"

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

'She thinks I'm out every night training for the London Marathon.'

"I'd hold off on the peking duck another five minutes...the show's almost over."

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

"This is his fifteenth successive Olympics."

"Take the picture, dam it, take the picture!"

Birthday To-Do List

Inactive wear store.

"I watched a Lassie marathon today and realized that I really need to step up my game."

"Let's see what's going on in the world."

'He's in training for the marathon, he watches it every year.'

"Shouldn't you be studying?

'I would've done my homework, but they kept saying 'stay tuned'.'

'Dad, is this like ... you doing your own thing?'

"It's time to get the couch gutters cleaned again."

"Now that I can watch whatever I want, whenever I want, my life has no structure."

"I wonder which will come first. Me finishing this binge worthy Netflix series or another Netflix rate hike."

"I'm going to binge watch all 600 episodes of my favorite show. I'll talk to you in a few weeks."

'A new study of people who watch television all the time reveals some shocking facts....'

Stress Prison - The fictional jail you imagine being sent to so you can catch up with Netflix and reading.