Mythical Marathoner Pillows

'Tortoise beats Hare...subject to performance enhancing drug test results.'

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

Bowled over again!

'It's a note...It says I.O.U. one pot of gold.'

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

American Idle.

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

"Let's finish off our night of being productive by starting another season."

'She thinks I'm out every night training for the London Marathon.'

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

"Tragic case of having the fridge from the TV when the World Cup is showing."

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

"Blood pressure 210/140. Heart rate 185. Steps taken 29. Sedentary 9.5 hours. Calories burned 19. You da man! Oh, and you're out of pork rinds." "Our classics TV marathon featuring 'Gunsmoke' will continue after..." "The unfitbit"

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

"I'd hold off on the peking duck another five minutes...the show's almost over."

"This is his fifteenth successive Olympics."

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

"Take the picture, dam it, take the picture!"

"Celebrating Labor Day assumes you've labored at least one day during the previous year."

Birthday To-Do List

Inactive wear store.

"I watched a Lassie marathon today and realized that I really need to step up my game."

"Let's see what's going on in the world."

'He's in training for the marathon, he watches it every year.'

"Shouldn't you be studying?

'I would've done my homework, but they kept saying 'stay tuned'.'

"I stole me a pot of gold. That's how I became a Lepre-CON."

'Dad, is this like ... you doing your own thing?'

"It's time to get the couch gutters cleaned again."

"Now that I can watch whatever I want, whenever I want, my life has no structure."

"I wonder which will come first. Me finishing this binge worthy Netflix series or another Netflix rate hike."

"Lock-downs have certainly contributed to our growth as a couple."

'A new study of people who watch television all the time reveals some shocking facts....'