Mythical Dining Dilettante T-Shirts

"I can't decide if I'm in the mood for Italian or hay."

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

Garlic Free Zone.

Tell me about it--last night I ate a whole sleeve of Communion wafers.

Somewhere in France - The Eliot sisters come face to face with escargots.

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

'The second day of my diet is the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

'House wine?'

Too Skinny, Too Fat

Macho Vegetarian

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

'Normally, seafood is good for you.'

"Are you sure? It doesn't look like a diet pill!"

'That's our most effective weight-loss patch.'

"I hate this smart refrigerator."

"A flake? I told you I'm on a diet."

"You'll never lose weight if you don't stop nibbling at your desk."

The Salvador Deli

'You know full well, your gastric band won't work if you keep eating spaghetti like that!'

'No booze, no red meat, easy on the carbs...I've given up living so I can live longer.'

'My diet allows me only one muffin a day!'

'Okay, okay. On second thought, maybe going on a diet isn't necessary.'

Pie.,

"Oh come on!... How can I only have lost two ounces?!"

"Past performance is no guarantee of future results."

"Would you prefer sparkling water, filtered water, tap water or water?"

"Tell me again how well your low sodium diet is going."