Mystical Musings Appreciator Pillows

Leo Tolstoy

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

Bob woke up in a pile of notes, some scrawled so quickly that no one could decode them. He remembered nothing of the night before, except... yes, a fleeting glimpse of the writer's moon.

Madame ZuZu. Dream Interpretation. Tarot. Palms. She says the dream where I'm taking a test naked means I barely made it through school.

"I see a pretty lady who looks a lot like you....a very kind lady...and she's adopting what appears to be a box of adorable kittens!"

Donald Trump Tells a Joke...

"Did you have a cat?"

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

'Don't worry it's organic...'

"So how much money have you made from your psychic hotline business?"

Sir Lancelot finds the Holy Quail

Cow Kong

'Is there a lady in the audience whose late husband says he never did put up that shelf?'

'You will meet a sexy, honest fortune teller who will take all your money!'

Nikolay Rerih

'Before we begin, let me see what my fortune cookie says.'

'I see a carefree lifestyle by a quiet lake. No, wait, my mistake - looks like I called up the real estate section.'

"You wanna put that back?"

"I'm afraid your wife gets to say 'I told you so.'"

'Hold it right there, pal! I had a vision that your check is going to bounce, so you can just head right back to your car!'

Dr. Prebish didn't always fit in with the other scientists.

Big Medium

"We don't do that kind of cattle futures, ma'am. You want Madam Mystic down the street."

"...He appears to have stepped away from his body."

'Reeta can tell your fortune from your bank statements.'

Fortune Tellers Convention

'I'd like to enlighten you, but what if you're just illusory?'

"Is that before or after tax?"

"He's an asylum seeker."

Devil paints God.

'This time last year you told me that I would meet a tall handsome stranger. Now I need his name and address.'

'I have done something about Lady Godiva - I got her to wear a garter belt and hose didn't I?'

"Wow. That guy on psychic chat line is really good. He told me our next phone bill would be bigger than usual!"

'Ha ha! You've been afraid of someone else's future!'