Mystical Justice Fan Gifts

"I'd like to be tried by a Jury of my Seers."

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

Lawyer's secretary has in boxes labeled: Before the Fact and After the Fact.

"I must protest, M'Lud. Prosecurity counsel is blantantly attempting to wheedle the truth from the accused."

Mou...Man trap!

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

"At least he's honest about it..."

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

'... And I appreciate that you've 'saved the world from certain doom on numerous occasions', but you still have to pay your taxes.'

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

'Your honor, my client would like to change his plea to 'not guilty, but not exactly innocent either'!'

A Lawyer's Closing Arguments Wins the Support of the Jury

A throng runs out the courthouse to follow a car that is driving away decorated with a sign that reads "Just Acquitted".

"You're lucky you're a U.S. citizen and this is America! The government has generously offered you five free guesses about what you're charged with and where you're going to be secretly detained."

Wotan with eye patch

"Do you swear you haven't embroidered the truth in your testimony today?"

"You are hereby sentenced to one year of swimming with the people."

'It drives me crazy when people whine about the collapse of the system!'

"I sentence you 500 hours of community service - You can start by mopping this floor."

Fortunes. Tarot. Palms. You punched the fortune teller just because he was smiling? I always wanted to strike a happy medium.

'An injunction against the First Amendment? - Can we DO that?'

'Must you be so judgemental?'

'Speak of the devil, there's my attorney now.'

Law 'N' Order

"We may be in trouble. . . the prosecutions expert witness can usually tell if a defendants been good or bad!"

"And today if the prosecutor says 'Liar, liar, pants on fire,' do not turn around to check."

"Well, perhaps 'guilty' is too strong a word."

"It's not really perjury if you're a compulsive liar."

'How do you like THAT disparate impact?'

Penitentiary (No Criminal Testing).

'So I'll see you in court tomorrow afternoon...and bring your toothbrush.'