Mystical Justice Fan Gifts

"I'd like to be tried by a Jury of my Seers."

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

Mou...Man trap!

Lawyer's secretary has in boxes labeled: Before the Fact and After the Fact.

"I must protest, M'Lud. Prosecurity counsel is blantantly attempting to wheedle the truth from the accused."

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

"At least he's honest about it..."

'... And I appreciate that you've 'saved the world from certain doom on numerous occasions', but you still have to pay your taxes.'

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

A Lawyer's Closing Arguments Wins the Support of the Jury

Wotan with eye patch

'It drives me crazy when people whine about the collapse of the system!'

'Must you be so judgemental?'

"Do you swear you haven't embroidered the truth in your testimony today?"

'An injunction against the First Amendment? - Can we DO that?'

'Speak of the devil, there's my attorney now.'

Law 'N' Order

"You are hereby sentenced to one year of swimming with the people."

"I sentence you 500 hours of community service - You can start by mopping this floor."

A throng runs out the courthouse to follow a car that is driving away decorated with a sign that reads "Just Acquitted".

"You're lucky you're a U.S. citizen and this is America! The government has generously offered you five free guesses about what you're charged with and where you're going to be secretly detained."

"We may be in trouble. . . the prosecutions expert witness can usually tell if a defendants been good or bad!"

"And today if the prosecutor says 'Liar, liar, pants on fire,' do not turn around to check."

"Well, perhaps 'guilty' is too strong a word."

"It's not really perjury if you're a compulsive liar."

'How do you like THAT disparate impact?'

'So I'll see you in court tomorrow afternoon...and bring your toothbrush.'

'You're my 100,000th conviction... so, I'm going to take 25 off your sentence.'

Audiovisual law