Musical Money Manager Pillows

Hoping to soften its image, the IRS devises the singing audit-gram.

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

'I think I know what the problem is!'

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

"We balanced our budget this month!"

Money exchange

And this is a little ditty I wrote called 'the third quarters profit and loss account' ...Colin often wished that he'd followed his first love and taken up a career as a musician

'I use my Blackberry all the time to check the competition's executive bonuses.'

"Constant vigilance, regular trimming."

'If you must know... I got the ten-million-dollar bonus this year because... instead of losing 15-million-dollars, we could of possibly lost much, much more!'

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

"We rolled your account over, sir, and that just made it worse."

'Diversify, diversify, diversify. Never keep all your eggs in one basket, unless it's Easter.'

'You're my economic advisor. What'll I do?'

Me and my money are soon parted

Overdraft limit.

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

ABC. Uh-oh, here comes the penalty for early withdrawal.

Here today, Bailed Out Tomorrow.

What is possible and what is probable.

Piggy Bank ATM

'Well, okay. So we almost bankrupted the country. But we've managed to make a slight profit thanks to the government bail out package, so who can possibly deny us a fat bonus this year?'

'Would it kill 'ya to index my birthday check to inflation?'

'While I'm here for my audit, could I interest you in some tax free municipal bonds?'

Yes we can increase your overdraft, but I'd like to see a little more grovelling, please.

'I'm push come to shove. . .'

'How about giving me one of those useless fivers you're always moaning about,Dad?'

"Think of it this way Jr., without debt you can't build credit."

Man goes from instant cash machine to instant spending.

Piggy bank...cash cow.

"It's all very well for people to go on about restraining hedge fund managers...but they have not idea of what we do!"

"So dude, how much ahve you saved up from your job?"

It's not our fault. We attribute your poor portfolio performance to fund malfunction.

"Our credit rating has improved. There's a pre-approved credit card in the report."