Musical Mishap Theorist Gifts

Unskilled Musicians' Marching Band

"You'd think he hated music by the way he tortures it."

'And now, please stand and join us as complete amateur butchers our national anthem.'

"This is the murder weapon the defendant used, your honor, and these are the tunes he butchered in cold blood."

Man playing a harmonica on a exercise bike bores customers in a restaurant

'I hereby sentence you to three years of piano lessons.'

'Eject! Eject, eject eject!! Aw crimony. I've hit the button 6 or 7 times, Cap'n. And the darned CD still won't come out.'

Tone Deaf and Can't Read Music - Please Give.

'Magazine, yes. Book, maybe. Musical dance - never in a million!'

"If music be the food of love, shut up."

All's well that ends well

"How is the new hearing aid?"

Tortured by music

Diverting the Serenade of the Guitar Player

"Michael Bolton at Folsom Prison"

A painter paints his thumb, not the nude model in front of him.

"I can't sleep, I've just read the weather forecast and I'm afraid that Cliff Richard will sing again..."

Hospital ER. My CD player malfunctioned! And now there's a song stuck in his head!

'That was absolutely HORRIBLE! When can you start?'

'What happened?!? That idiot cartoonist spilled coffee all over me, that's what!' (cartoon about cartooning)

"Can you explain to me again how you keep sustaining this eye injury in an orchestra?"

Musician sneezes and blows away musical notes.

'Ronan Keating just called - but it was a wrong number!'

"Same every year, he gets all tensed updreading the first radio blast of Slade's 'It's Christmas'..."

"Gesundheit!"

'He has Van Gogh's ear for music.'

'Are you downloading another cylinder?'

Occupational Hazards of Playing the Harp.

'Raymond's a frustrated composer.'

Harpist slicing fingers on strings

Music Hater.

The Off-Tones

Authentic American Diner: 'Jello, ah said jello!'

'Gesundheit, dummy!'

Trumpet player punctures a cheek.