Musical Bride Gifts

Violinist Bride

Bride playing cello

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

I must say a winter wedding certainly saves on confetti!'

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

Wedding Day Itinerary.

'It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.'

'He does.'

"He thought he'd stand out more in a body suit."

Rocking Witches.

"Who told the quartet to play 'Highway to Hell'?"

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

"You'd think he hated music by the way he tortures it."

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

Visual Gag: An about to be married Bride using a real train as a wedding gown train

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"

"Do you, Halfomild Tellycelebrtipewhoo-hoo, promise to brush up on matters such as the Hadron Collider?"

'Actually, most brides would find being stranded on a deserted beach very romantic...'

The Happiest Hen in Acle

"You may now let me go try to get the sand out of my shoes and suit just in time for my next beach wedding."

"Nobody told me it was a dress down wedding day!"

'Okay, so you were right; maybe figuring 13 bottles of wine per person was a little too much.'

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

'...And do you John take Jennifer to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold, to write off on your taxes?'

'...till death, or a really huge argument over ringtones, do you part.'

"Sorry I'm late. I had to get a tattoo removed"