Music-loving Satirist Pillows

What your acoustic guitar says about you

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"That's it, Tom. Here they come. Just keep playing 'Freebird.'"

Fuzz - Fuzzy writes a song with a positive message.

Pay me not to pay 'Wonderwall'

Note Book

'Celeb Foods: Damien Hurst's voles in brine.'

"Coming up... more of the same mindless pop songs with repetitive lyrics and nauseating melodies!"

"I feel like I've just been played my whole life."

'One could make the ultimate industrial strength glue by cracking the formula of the goo on night club stages.'

"I'm not mocking your song—I'm sampling it."

"So obvious, there all the time"

"Hurry, she's starting to play in a minor key!"

'I know.. Let's write a song all about the evils of material wealth. After all, that last one netted us a bloody fortune!'

"I guess we're kind of the Marsalis Family in reverse

Parts of a Bagpipe

Uke Free Zone

'These f****** pop stars are setting really f****** bad examples with their b***** lifestyles.'

The critic as band leader

'Don't say anything!'

"Are we locked up with him, or is he locked up with us?"

Slower than a rubber-tipped arrow,as powerful as a wind-up choo-choo, unable to step over his shoelaces, it's Copyright Free Man!

This next song aims to halt global warming and bring about an end to famine...sing along if you think it'll help.

Celebrity X-factor Gogglebox Bake-off on Ice

Although he later fired his editors, Wagner was never able to convince the public of his original intentions.

You don't have to be tone deaf to work here but it helps.

"That was a truly ham-fisted attempt at Vivaldi!"

'You play Schubert beautifully. Sadly the rest of us are playing Beethoven...'

'At $87,000, I'd say this comes from the artist's I'm-milking-this-for-all-I-can Period.'

"How can you call yourself a left-leaning audiophile if you've never heard NPR on vinyl?"

"My next song goes out to all those staffers who worry about job status in light of the recent reorg. It's called 'Somehow We'll Manage'."

"Continuous piped music! No wonder so many opt for reincarnation."

Hits Of The 80s: Remastered by the health and safety department.