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The plumbers awards

"I don't think the turkey's going to be done on time. That's the dishwasher."

'Can you play something the dog doesn't know?'

"I put the speed on reckless. . ."

"Are you sure you want to see the kitchen? The chef is naked."

'What did I tell you about playing the piano in the house?'

Pub. This is John. He also loves obscure bands until they're popular then hates them. The Druidiots. Luckies. 50 ale.

"And now, Bach's Brandenburg Concerto, Number One, first movement."

Farmer Pickles hated it when the cows hummed Darth Vader's theme tune.

"FYI that the novocaine will numb the pain caused by the drill but won’t help with the pain caused by the overhead adult contemporary music."

"That's O.K., Dad. I think I'll do with the ambient waterfall sounds tonight."

"And then, after they were done with their bodies, they baked them at 350 degrees for an hour."

"To prevent any complaints like "when will our ordered food be served" guests can now follow the work in the kitchen on TV."

Marine Band

"Don't you know anything but 'Afternoon of a Faun'?"

"Hmm Hmm. Hmm Hmm."

Skeleton with a ringing phone.

"Hear that? First lawnmower of spring!"

"Oh my god- the salad's on fire!"

'We have to put up with a fair bit to find these truffles, but we think they're worth it.'

Early Baroque and Roll

'If you don't stop playing that thing I'll go crazy.'

Never use an electric can opener if you live next door to a cat lady.

Where we Get Muzak...

"Iron Chef, my ass!"

"One more version of 'Climb Every Mountain' and I'll throttle you."

"I guess you could say I play R+B in a Jazz mode bordering on Modern Rock from a World Music perspective but with Heavy Metal overtones deeply rooted in Mississippi Delta Blues..."

'That hunchbacked white is singing our song.'

'You just missed him...can I take a message?'

The hills are alive...with the sound of mucous.

The Spencer Brothers: Heavy Wood or Light Metal?

"I suppose the combover works, but now I can't see your eyes."

When Ernie gets a song stuck in his head, he doesn't have room for anything else.

Some men are born great and some have gratings thrust upon them.