Music Copyist Gifts

'Composer'

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A Copy Editor and His Dog

Punctuation Police

Someone who knows apostrophes

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

Brünnhilde's Funeral Pyre

Thesaurus Company

"Drop everything, Dominic. I need you to proof this for blasphemy."

One of the failed candidates for the copyrighters job wants to know 'wat was rong with his applicashun'.

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

Editor.

THE REPORT: Some of this is brilliant, but that can be fixed.

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

Music producers.

". . . so, all I really need to do is change one word."

'If I've learned anything, it's believe half of what's in the newspapers, and even less of what's in your e-mail.'

"The time has come for some tough cost-cutting decisions, and I'm forced to ask myself, do we really need a bass?"

"I know R&D feels that the product warrants at least two 'really'."

Publisher to writer: 'It was a great read, except I collided with run-on sentences, tripped over broken English and got knocked about by a dangling participle.'

Think.

Advertising and PR Agency: 'I'm able to spin at 60 words per minute, hype at 50 words and distort at 45 words.'

"I was a gainfully employed copy editor. Suddenly, one day, I couldn't tell an em dash from an en dash."

The band.

Bull Pen

Fisher, this memo of yours, it needs more punch

"Recycled, Wayne, we'd prefer 'recycled'."

Writer

'It's official. We replace the words worn-out, old-fashion, and obsolete with classic, vintage and retro.'