Copy Connoisseur Gifts

'You can check facts, but these are factoids.'

"Sorry honey. I can't sleep. I'm going to copy and collate for awhile."

In a freak accident Mike managed to photocopy himself.

"You can whip out one helluva sonnet, Shakespeare, bit for sales copy, this sucks."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

New and improved! BunkerBuster! Get out of the sand trap every single time - or your money back!!

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

'He likes to power nap.'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Night of the Latkes

Farm Humor.

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

Happy Hour

The Trojan Beagle.

10 Good Things about a Minnesota Winter.

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

The Snarky District

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

'What? You ate the gateau instead of throwing it into my face?? You insensitive, egotistical brute! You don't love me anymore!'

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

'Satchel, I have just had a revelation.'

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."