Copywriting Whiz Gifts

"...Leave the new improved and miracle breakthrough stuff to our advertising dept."

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

This Message Has No Content

Punctuation Police

Someone who knows apostrophes

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

'Technically, I was making fun of your writing ability.'

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

Thesaurus Company

"Drop everything, Dominic. I need you to proof this for blasphemy."

Standard Life Aberdeen Rebrand

"Brilliant cover letter, lousy résumé."

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

I'm not sure which, but he's just invented either writing or vandalism. (Published originally on Feb. 11, 2011.)

One of the failed candidates for the copyrighters job wants to know 'wat was rong with his applicashun'.

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

"This is gibberish, Nigel, but most persuasive gibberish."

THE REPORT: Some of this is brilliant, but that can be fixed.

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

'My manuscript is available for download on the internet. I'll email the link to you.'

'If I've learned anything, it's believe half of what's in the newspapers, and even less of what's in your e-mail.'

". . . so, all I really need to do is change one word."

"He has the tweeting skills of a man twice his age."

"I know R&D feels that the product warrants at least two 'really'."

"Tom's writing has been going really well! He's written over 200,000 words. Now he just needs to work out what order to put them in!"

Copywriter's blank paper compared to the gridded screen of a content provider.

'He will observe your text now...'

Giving feedback is a complex process.

Think.