Music Award Marvel Gifts

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

Women in a cross country race

'I suppose an explanation is in order?'

'Oh, just chuck it in a corner somewhere...'

Open Mike for the spotlight operators

Health

I love Harmonica

"Things happen so fast. What's news when class starts is history when it ends."

'When is science going to explain the dark matter I find in my belly button every morning?'

"I'll need to see your responsible service of alcohol certificate."

Doctor's house visit "What's made him worse since I phoned Doctor was worrying about the cost of a house call"

"You see, I told you I could play the bugle and sing at the same time..."

"Turn down the bass."

"This is a blind audition, right?"

'It'll help the economy and the environment, Mr. President -- biodegradable money!'

Procrastinator's Leap.

'You are a very good doctor. You're actually listening to what I'm saying.'

While Desmond was by far the world's fastest marathon runner, his Achilles heel was his wimpiness.

"Jesus, walking on top of the water does not count as a bath."

"Incredible! - I have never seen a whole septic head before!!"

'I go in there to borrow two million dollars, and they have the nerve to ask me how much I make!'

Dick Van Dyke

"You definately have a musical ear"

'Surgery went well, Mr. Moore. I had a lot of fun rebuilding your knee joint.'

Rock on!

"Oh my God, the mineral water!"

"Good news, Mrs. Mostyn. Those lumps on your breasts are nipples."

"Pop stardom might not be the most realistic of ambitions, Billy. I should know- I was the winner of last year's X Factor."

The Artist 10k. Finish

Convict playing the violin

Country Hits

Pizza. I found the remote but now I can't find the TV.

Runners at the end of a 'Fun Run'.

From the Department of New Age Medicine: The First Artichoke Heart Transplant.

"Thank you, sir. And have a happy holiday of your choice!"