Museum Escapaders T-Shirts

"I mean, why even live in the city if you're not going to do New York City things?"

"Meet the scribe"

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

"You're my Mona Lisa."

Couple Sitting in Front of A Sunset.

A child at a museum starts to pull the wrappings off a mummy.

'What do you suppose he's trying to say?'

"Makes me wish I'd kept that gorilla suit."

"Why don't you just go and see this summer's feel-good movie?"

German School

"Still-Life of New Mexican Grilled Quail with Cilantro and Fennel-Flecked Confit."

'This is you, enlarged.'

Movie Monster Exhibit: Unavailable due to much needed repair work.

"I read 'Art News.'"

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

"My kid could do that."

"I don't dare take him near the De Kooning exhibit!"

"Have you give any thought to my suggestion about a sculpture that's just a chubby kid constantly peeing."

Who are you?

"Beats me why but my girlfriend says I have a one-track mind."

El Greco

"It's a forgery―and a recent one, too."

"We no longer use ethnic labels, such as Italian Renaissance painting or Chinese drawing or Greek sculpture."

'Do you have an appointment?'

'I can't tell the kitch from the schlock any more.'

"We're not certain why they disappeared, but archeologists speculate that it may have had something to do with their size."

Kid see shadow from mom as mom see shadow in painting.

Owl Through Time