Museum Escapaders T-Shirts

"I mean, why even live in the city if you're not going to do New York City things?"

"Meet the scribe"

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

"You're my Mona Lisa."

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

Couple Sitting in Front of A Sunset.

A child at a museum starts to pull the wrappings off a mummy.

"Makes me wish I'd kept that gorilla suit."

'What do you suppose he's trying to say?'

"Why don't you just go and see this summer's feel-good movie?"

Jars containing a Brain and a Brain Fart.

German School

'This is you, enlarged.'

"I read 'Art News.'"

Movie Monster Exhibit: Unavailable due to much needed repair work.

"Still-Life of New Mexican Grilled Quail with Cilantro and Fennel-Flecked Confit."

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

"My kid could do that."

Cavemen Exhibit

"It's a forgery―and a recent one, too."

Who are you?

El Greco

"Have you give any thought to my suggestion about a sculpture that's just a chubby kid constantly peeing."

"I don't dare take him near the De Kooning exhibit!"

"Beats me why but my girlfriend says I have a one-track mind."

Owl Through Time

'Do you have an appointment?'

Kid see shadow from mom as mom see shadow in painting.

"We no longer use ethnic labels, such as Italian Renaissance painting or Chinese drawing or Greek sculpture."

The Family Joules: Part 15

"Do they look tired to you?"

Museum. Celtic smiths were the first to add iron rims to chariot wheels. They should have called them "ferrous wheels"!

"We're not certain why they disappeared, but archeologists speculate that it may have had something to do with their size."

Museum of Anthropology. Did Neanderthals carry backpacks?