Muscle Cramp Survivor Gifts

Gary turns 40.

"Frank and Sheila finally get off the beaten path."

Piano and Pianist with broken legs.

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

"Sorry, but there aren't enough life jackets to go around."

'Take two asprin and stick your head in the the sand.'

'It's a slow trap.'

'Honey's a real problem for me. Whenever I try to cut back, I just end up binging on campers.'

Sporting maladies.

"I see you do all your own stunts."

In case of stock market crash break glass.

Warning: Cathartic manifestations of childhood trauma next 5 miles

'You've got a broken finger.'

"I don't get it. I only had a couple of beers in the pub last night, but I've got a splitting headache this morning."

Gymnast tangled up.

'Bloody plaster of Paris.'

'I'll soon have you in stitches but it's no laughing matter.'

A marooned man builds a swing set from his lone palm tree.

'It's an old baseball injury.'

"If she was abused, why didn’t she report it?"

"You owe your life to that dog. He pulled you to safety. Unfortunately, there's still no sign of the dog ??" or your arm."

'Don't be frightened, he's only been 'n' gone 'n' done his back in again.'

'I'll be able to play the piano in 2 days? Well I couldn't before the accident!'

Love Hate Computer Relationship

Guy hanging in dungeon to other: 'Are you sure this chiropractor is licensed?'

"Lately, when I wake up, I'm stiff as a board!"

'Hey! Suddenly, my back feels way better! Weird...'

First Shot Discus Thrower

"Next time, try warming up with a little idle speculation before jumping to a conclusion."

'He, Bob! Good to hear from you. Last time we talked, you had some sorta yoga injury.'

Impenetrable plaster cast.

'... And the Outstanding Injury of the Year Award goes to - Dewey Taylor!...'