Muscle-building Merrymaker T-Shirts

Father Christmas lifting presents as a workout.

'Not that sort of body building program!'

Bodybuilder pumping himself up.

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Bench Press Accident

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

"Forget sugar and spice and everything nice. I'm going for buns of steel!"

"How long have you lived in this gym?"

'Can you take the lid off this jar for me...?'

"It's exhausting trying to keep him from throwing away perfectly good sticks."

"I don’t care that muscle weighs more than fat. I only know I work out here and gain 5 pounds!"

Battery lifting weights

Health Nut with a 60-Pack

Dick's hobby of collecting manhole covers kept him out of trouble... except of the hernias.

Body Building

"...And have we been working on our upper body or our lower body?"

'I drank 10 pints of rum.'

'You mean that I have to carry them to my car?'

''What I Did Over Summer Vacation,' by Craig Martin.'

'My upper body strength is fine but I'd been neglecting my legs.'

'I think it's time to concentrate a little more on your upper body!'

"That 'knowledge equals power' thing will take you only so far."

'You've made wonderful progress,Miss Pritchard.'

Arnold Schwarzenneger caricature.

Protein Powder Irony

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

I'll take this one here.

Reflex Testing -"...and you're sure you can't feel it"

"My biggest strength is probably my quads."

1. Wealthy people will consider hiring others to do their exercise for them. They should not give in to this temptation, as studies have shown that this seriously slows down any truly serious body-building campaign. 2. The key word in isometrics is balance. Be sure every part of your body shares in the fun equally and you will be able to avoid awkward developments.

"I just want to know if I'm healthy enough for bacon?"

'My fortune says you're a liar, so I won't even ask what yours says.'

Gym/Tan/Donut

'Oh sorry mate, I'll leave him outside.'

AL'S GYM, 'We're going to make a new man of you!' 'Will he have new credit cards?'