Muscle Aficionado Gifts

'I just invented walking upright, and already I got a charlie horse!'

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

Biceps, muscles and brawn

'You need to stay away from the pie in the sky.'

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Woman walks her dog on a running machine.

"And what do you do to maintain your cardiovascular fitness, Miss Holt?"

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

'We're looking for athletic people.'

"How long have you lived in this gym?"

'Yes, I do a lot of rowing. How could you tell?'

"We get all our meat from a man dressed like a butcher."

"Feeling stupid yet? No? Then keep going!"

Early Exercise Machines

"Little Lucas doesn't go anywhere without his weighted blanket."

Battery lifting weights

'I think dad's getting fitter. I couldn't hear him wheezing until he turned the corner today.'

The size of a man's upper body is directly proportional to the number of unresolved issues in his head.

'Music & Gym'

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

Two entrances to a gym; one reads "Actual Exercise" while the other reads "Sit on Equipment and Stare at your Phone."

Prisoner Stretches Before Stretching Torture

'...but you can't keep imagining you're going downhill!'

Built and Built without a permit.

Snow woman admiring a muscular snowman.

Joe's Gym: 'Can anyone here open this jar of pickles!?'

'Of course he does - all snakes have great abs!'

A muscle pushing a body builders brain out of his skull.

"His prose is so muscular."