Mum's Social Club Pillows

Mums at play group.

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

Cry babies.

"Those are the names of your children? I went a different route...I memorized my kids' names."

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

"Just kick back and enjoy this. These are the nest years of our lives!"

"What makes you think I'm dripping it on my shirt?"

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

Suffering from Cooties?

Lamb Noise.

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

"Now I think of Mom whenever it's cold."

'This is a fine time to leave! What if the doctor delivers the baby while you're out!'

"Listen. Nobody's cuter than anyone else! You're all equally cute!"

'The girls must be feeling better...'

"Adopted? It's cute how you think we would've picked you."

"Sorry Tina, I won't be able to come over: Joey is finally asleep and I don't dare move..."

"It's called geometry, Mum."

"It's a beautiful world out there, just waiting to be discovered. Well, discovered by one of you, the rest will almost certainly die."

Kangaroo - Mum dropping her ice-cream on Joey's head.

'It's no problem, Mom. Samantha just likes to check on my table manners.'

"The good news is...you've one less window to wash."

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

"Then what happened?"

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

'He's going to be an estate agent, just like his Dad.'

"Today in school we learned how to glue!"

'If mum's not around, amber means...pedal to the metal, baby!'

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

'We've only got a couple of days to finish this box of cereal. Mom'll never let us eat something called energy-packed after school's out.'

"I'm so good at this!"

Why moms make bad refs.

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

"Oh, she talk a lot...but only about her children."