Mommy Meet-ups Pillows

'. . . And don't forget, tomorrow is bring-a-friend day.'

Cry babies.

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

'This is a fine time to leave! What if the doctor delivers the baby while you're out!'

Mums coffee morning

'All I want for Christmas is my old shape back again.'

"I'm not his mom anymore—now I'm his life coach."

"I'm sorry, but we're not an online retailer. We can't guarantee delivery in 2 days."

'All those in favor of getting a canary?'

''D' is for 'Despair'; 'E' is for 'Exhaustion'.'

Add your kids' ages together...

Mums at play group.

"We're hoping you can join us for a little drink at the water hole at dusk."

"You're pregnant? Are you sure it's yours?"

'Houdini's mother had an odd and difficult pregnancy.' 'Oh no. He's gone again!'

"I told you I don't make chicken soup! I'm a muse, not a mother!"

"Same time next month?"

Zika Protection

'Congradulations, daddy! Daddy! Daddy!'

'Let's go before everyone starts telling their stupid owner stories.'

"Now that I have a child, I understand the love you have for your dog."

"Let me through, I'm a mansplainer!"

"Hi. My name is Chris and I'm a 'rubbing alcoholic.'"

"I'm sorry I embarrassed you at work, Mom. But you should know by now - I'm not the kind of person to put on a speakerphone."

'Yes, I do admire your motorcycle. However, your 'I love my mommy' t-shirt is a little weird.'

'...I didn't think you'd get on the bus to tell me.'