Multiple Birth Veterans Pillows

'Gee, Dad, Mom's getting better at this all the time!'

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

"I have been happily married... three times!"

'WOW, congratulations, Ma'am! You're having Quads!'

'The worst part is not to give birth, but to remember all their names!'

"Happy anniversary, Clare. How'd you make it so many years?" "Figured it wasn't worth the prison time."

'How long have you two been married?'

'I can't take much more of the happiness treadmill.'

'You know your mother Dave, she's always on my back about something.'

"Well, well – if it isn't the old crystal ball and chain."

"Early Father's Day Gift!"

'I eventually want one to go with every outfit.'

"No chance of accumulating frequent birthing points in here. This is the only trip I'll take."

'Noise? When you've been married as long as I have, it goes in one ear and out the other.'

'Triplets? -- I want a second opinion!'

"I call him auction man - his hair is going, his teeth are going, his sex drive has gone."

Man disposes of baby's nappy in a toxin waste bin.

"I figured, better the devil you know."

Stork and baby

'I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home.'

'I've never seen mum change these when they get empty.'

Triplets

'The sonogram shows that you are carrying twins. I think they're going to get along very well. They seem to be hugging.'

"Sorry sweetie, I can't carry you anymore."

'I'm used to having my decisions overturned since I've been married 20 years.'

My wife had quads

Entering Clogsted.

"Let me guess... Military, right?"

Chicken Walking Eggs

"Not really all that different... We've been living apart for decades."

'Turbulence? Oh I'm used to that, I've been married 20 years.'

'I can't believe it - fifty years married and all I've ever been is Plan B!'

'Remind me again darling - what were we just arguing about?'