Multiple Birth Veterans Mugs

'Gee, Dad, Mom's getting better at this all the time!'

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

"I have been happily married... three times!"

'WOW, congratulations, Ma'am! You're having Quads!'

'The worst part is not to give birth, but to remember all their names!'

'How long have you two been married?'

'I can't take much more of the happiness treadmill.'

"Happy anniversary, Clare. How'd you make it so many years?" "Figured it wasn't worth the prison time."

'You know your mother Dave, she's always on my back about something.'

"Early Father's Day Gift!"

"Well, well – if it isn't the old crystal ball and chain."

"No chance of accumulating frequent birthing points in here. This is the only trip I'll take."

'I eventually want one to go with every outfit.'

'Noise? When you've been married as long as I have, it goes in one ear and out the other.'

Man disposes of baby's nappy in a toxin waste bin.

"I call him auction man - his hair is going, his teeth are going, his sex drive has gone."

"I figured, better the devil you know."

'Triplets? -- I want a second opinion!'

Tunnel of love

'I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home.'

Triplets

Stork and baby

'I've never seen mum change these when they get empty.'

'The sonogram shows that you are carrying twins. I think they're going to get along very well. They seem to be hugging.'

'So what's new?' 'Everything.'

"Sorry sweetie, I can't carry you anymore."

'I'm used to having my decisions overturned since I've been married 20 years.'

"Let me guess... Military, right?"

Chicken Walking Eggs

"Not really all that different... We've been living apart for decades."

'Turbulence? Oh I'm used to that, I've been married 20 years.'

'I can't believe it - fifty years married and all I've ever been is Plan B!'

My wife had quads

'Remind me again darling - what were we just arguing about?'