Mullet Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Hold the ladder... is that a Mullet?"

'Weeell. . . looks like you've got a mullet infection.'

"According to this website, you have all the symptoms of having a mullet. Let me search for the cure."

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

Love a Mutt

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

"Say, when did you get so fluff?"

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"Man! That squirrel was jacked!"

Come on Darling: Surely, you don't need a sledgehammer to crack a nut...

"Yes, that's the tree with all the squirrels from yesterday. And no, I don't know where they are today."

'Of course I'm squirreling away money!'

Life's a Bench.

"I've been getting really excited about squirrels even when my dog isn't with me."

"I meant the dog!"

'My dentist recommended it.'

'Mum, it's not fair: The principal said I was not allowed to take nuts to school anymore...'

"Consider yourself chased."

"If I have this peanut in my pocket, it means I must have buried my keys!"

Hair of the dog spots: christmas jumper

"Being a crossing guard for a squirrel is exhausting!"

The greatest love story ever moled.

"Let us be a city under a hill, for all the world not to see."

Spring is coming... Sunshine, warmer weather... and MUD

"I'm just making a few behavioral notes in my journal, then I'll chase him."

A squirrel talks about Margaret Atwood

"Tell me, do you own a mallet with a rubber shaft?"

"OK, she's back. Just start slowly, and remember to ask her about herself."

Nutflix

'Success! I've just hacked into a supposedly squirrel-proof birdfeeder!'

"You're compromising the entire operation!"

"There will be other squirrels ... there always are."

'Look! Tommy Pineneedle's mother has a pair of nuts!'