Muffin Muncher Pillows

I was eating my muffin and drinking my latte when I noticed the tv on your wall is only 1080p resolution. That's right. So you admit it! Your tv is not an 8k UHD television! And yet your sign outside says "good eats and state of the art tech inside." That's false advertising. I might be willing to forgo the class action lawsuit and settle out of court. I'd settle for a 1080p tv. Get out.

"We missed the meeting, but there might be a couple of the little muffins left."

"With a heart I have to worry about cholesterol."

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

Cat croissant, cat baguette, cat muffin, cat turnover

"5 chocolate brownies, 3 banana muffins, 4 caramel cookies and one cappuccino - skinny."

Movie Awards. Winner. It's been a big night for Ernie! He won three times at the movie-set caterer awards! On one set he made a healthy, refreshing beverage that received rave reviews from the cast and crew. He won the "best pitcher" award for it. Did they say he won for best costumes? No, his dressings won. His sticky buns won also. For "best leading roll" performance, right? No, for best "cinnamontography"!

Full English Breakfast.

"No, dude. Smoke the grass first. Then eat the candy."

'Bacon-butties are my favourite!'

Mock Fight At The Bakery

'Vitamins A, B, C, D...Hey, Mom! - this cereal has all the recommended daily allowance of alphabet in it!'

Munch Master.

'My diet allows me only one muffin a day!'

'You know, I could really go for a wafer-thin mint.'

"Blueberry muffins. My wife made them."

Storefront reading "Net 'n' Nosh (Formerly Books 'n' Java)"

Theater Usher Moms.

"Of course, he always says it's not fit for consumption. He's a foodie."

'How do we bake such delicious large muffins that have only 20 calories? Easy, false advertising.'

"For my next trick I will turn this ordinary muffin into a delicious cupcake."

"The food must be good here. Look at the drool on the menus."

"You asked for runny!"

Thoughtful kiddies' midnight snacks overtax my bulging slacks … The load I haul back to my shack is bigger than the one I packed.

'How do we bake such delicious large muffins that have only 50 calories? False advertising.'

'Pete's coffee shop? I'm calling from precision Labs. Please send over a chocolate muffin and a large container of coffee with 4.7 sugar and 12.2 cream.'

Once again, the conversation gets too heated, and the selection of a state muffin has to be shelved until next year.

Santa contemplates whether or not to leave presents.

'Whoa! Our waiter's online and you should see what he's saying about your tip!'

'You've come at a bad time. He's in but he hasn't had his muffin and coffee yet.'

"The first mistake was bringing donuts to a room full of muffin people."

Baking

"Well yes, I admit it, I ate Young Master's homework, but in my defence, it was his "Food Technology" homework: savoury muffins..."

The time has come for the revenge of the cows.

Man eating 'after work mints'