Mrs. Claus Fan T-Shirts

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

Claus 2.0

"Just because I can deliver toys around the world in one night, doesn't mean I understand the tax code."

Hey. Hey. Polly wants some folly.

"I don't believe in you!"

'Okay, time to sleep now. Switch off your nose, Rudolph'!

Yo ho ho!

Stepping on clown's shoe...

Shell Fire

'So that's why I didn't get that train set? !'.

"Oh just ignore him!...he always shows off when we have visitors!"

Clown Delivering Babies.

Comedian faces audience of clowns: 'Ooh, tough crowd.'

"I believe I you, Bigfoot."

'HO,HO,HO,WHY ARE YOU AFRAID OF SANTA CLAUS??!!'

'Yup...you've got em' alright. And they brought their circus, too.'

"In normal circumstances a full state pension would be an automatic..."

"So. . . how long have people NOT been laughing at you. . . ?"

“Stop avoiding me. I know when you are sleeping. I know when you are awake.”

"We may be in trouble. . . the prosecutions expert witness can usually tell if a defendants been good or bad!"

'What went particularly well?'

Mom's The Boss

Pickles the Clown: Son of Bonzo and Gwen. A Pro to the End.

'Mmmm. How do you get the custard so creamy? You must give me the recipie!'

Then laughing aloud, seeming contento, he turned like a flash and was gone el viento.

"So Mr. Claus, there is a Virginia!"

Weather forecast

Screw up Assange's finances and I'm closing my accounts.

"Naughty? Nice? It's a bit more nuanced than that..."

"Rudolph, call the recruitment department - I asked for 'Elvish helpers!'"

'. . . He's such a slime ball!'

Santa relaxes by Fire

"I wonder if Congress has any openings."

"I wish we could go back to waltzes - this boogie woogie is killing me."

"I still call it a custard tart but to be honest, it's a dairy free, soy fructose mix, with no nuts."