Mri Curious Pillows

'I think you'll get a kick out of our 'haunted' MRI, Mrs. Hanratty.'

'I don't think there's any hope for my golf game.'

'Everything is going to be fine, Mrs.Witzer...'

Scared husband needs to have scans done in children's exam room.

"What you have is very expensive to treat. Would you like me to diagnose you with something affordable?"

"They don't look familiar...probably from another fecal transplant."

'If the pound is worth so little, can I have a couple?'

'It's 10pm, does anyone know how much the U.S. dollar is worth?'

"No matter how badly you have sinned, you don't have to worry about losing your coverage!"

"You have twenty eight days to live."

'And this one is for going into an MRI machine -- alone.'

"Oh that's just a myth. It wasn't one extra straw that did this. It was a Steinway."

"Were the x-rays really necessary?"

'The part of your brain you used to diagnose what is wrong with you is what is wrong with you.'

"He has a pretty rare blood group."

'It came in just in time for Valentine's Day.'

"Dad, tell me about the birds and the bees and safeguards."

"I don't know anything about the bell curve, but I say heredity is everything."

Intensive Care in the Community

"Well I'm out of ideas, here, anyone else want to give this a stab?"

'What's the weather like in Australia?'

"I'm dating an MRI technician."

'While you're in there, could you do me a favor and look around for a silver earring? The patient before you thinks that's where she lost it.'

Thin man enters 'Closed and Narrow MRI', heavy man enters 'Open and Wide MRI'

'Um...Dr. Daly, I think there's something wrong with the MRI.'

A Reasonable Time For Concern - 'Hello Crematorium?'

'Some people find the MRI chamber claustrophobic.' - 'Oh.' - 'I call those people 'the lucky few'.' - 'Ah.' - 'Whatever you do don't think about being buried alive.' - 'Gah.' -

'OK, Mrs. Dunn. We'll slide you in there, scan your brain, and see if we can find out why you've been having these spells of claustrophobia.'

"Here, if you don't believe me, listen for yourself!"

'I'm sorry, Mrs. Griswald... You've called me so often at my home that you now legally qualify as a friend and I can no longer treat you!"

"Would you say your imaginary pain is more or less severe than last visit?"

'I have the results of your tests. Luckily, your HMO lowered the acceptable values, so you don't need any other tests.'

"O.K., let's just have a look-see at this pre-mortem."

'There's a hundred cents in the dollar...but what about the yen?'

Mother to son; 'Now that you've moved up from alcohol to cannabis I don't want any excuse of a hangover; GET UP.'