Mri Curious Pillows

'I don't think there's any hope for my golf game.'

Scared husband needs to have scans done in children's exam room.

"What you have is very expensive to treat. Would you like me to diagnose you with something affordable?"

"They don't look familiar...probably from another fecal transplant."

'If the pound is worth so little, can I have a couple?'

'It's 10pm, does anyone know how much the U.S. dollar is worth?'

"No matter how badly you have sinned, you don't have to worry about losing your coverage!"

"You have twenty eight days to live."

'And this one is for going into an MRI machine -- alone.'

'The part of your brain you used to diagnose what is wrong with you is what is wrong with you.'

"Were the x-rays really necessary?"

"He has a pretty rare blood group."

'It came in just in time for Valentine's Day.'

"Dad, tell me about the birds and the bees and safeguards."

"I don't know anything about the bell curve, but I say heredity is everything."

Intensive Care in the Community

"Well I'm out of ideas, here, anyone else want to give this a stab?"

'What's the weather like in Australia?'

"I'm dating an MRI technician."

Thin man enters 'Closed and Narrow MRI', heavy man enters 'Open and Wide MRI'

A Reasonable Time For Concern - 'Hello Crematorium?'

'Some people find the MRI chamber claustrophobic.' - 'Oh.' - 'I call those people 'the lucky few'.' - 'Ah.' - 'Whatever you do don't think about being buried alive.' - 'Gah.' -

"Here, if you don't believe me, listen for yourself!"

'I'm sorry, Mrs. Griswald... You've called me so often at my home that you now legally qualify as a friend and I can no longer treat you!"

"Would you say your imaginary pain is more or less severe than last visit?"

'I have the results of your tests. Luckily, your HMO lowered the acceptable values, so you don't need any other tests.'

'There's a hundred cents in the dollar...but what about the yen?'

Mother to son; 'Now that you've moved up from alcohol to cannabis I don't want any excuse of a hangover; GET UP.'

"O.K., let's just have a look-see at this pre-mortem."

'Before she died, she donated your organs.'