Mowing Procrastinator Pillows

'So you've finally got round to mowing the garden.'

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

'Congratulations! Our yard's been declared a national wilderness area!'

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

Brad discovers what can happen when you don't wash your gym clothes...

"Honey, I can't go to the gym today. I feel too out-of-shape."

"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"

"This next song's from the soundtrack to the film of the book I never got around to writing."

Housewife: Out of Order.

"Listen, pal, they're all emergencies."

"....And the weatherman said it was going to be a hot one today so take it easy and stay hydrated..."

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

"You forgot to pick up the dry cleaning. It's written all over your face."

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

Easy chair exercise machines

'Hey, boss, what's a 7 letter work starting with 'w' that represents what I should be doing rather than solving crossword puzzles?'

"I #*#*#* hate gardening, I'd much rather be at work!!"

Invaders from Planet Manava.

'Work's the greatest thing on earth... so I'm saving some up for tomorrow!'

'Despite her numerous advanced degrees, Dr.Bessie couldn't keep her mouth from watering.'

Man look over neighbours fence at a man mowing his lawn. He is wearing a suit of armour to protect him from stones being thrown up by mower.

Holiday Shopping for Guys

'Do excuse Ed's immobility - he's being regulated.'

"What already?! If it weren't for my extraordinary willpower, I'd be exercising right now!"

"The pastor can't be disturbed. He's preparing for Sunday's service."

"I might let the window box lay fallow, this season."

A man imagines he looks like a farmer on a tractor on a ride-on mower and

"Man! I just had to pull another all-dayer."

Messing around on the internet when your boss thinks you're hard at work.

'I know, I know. I know. It was my turn to change the water filter. You don't have to keep reminding me.'

Why are you texting instead of working?

'I asked you to clean the fridge, not declutter it.'