Mowing Procrastinator Pillows

'So you've finally got round to mowing the garden.'

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

'Congratulations! Our yard's been declared a national wilderness area!'

"Honey, I can't go to the gym today. I feel too out-of-shape."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"

Housewife: Out of Order.

"Listen, pal, they're all emergencies."

"....And the weatherman said it was going to be a hot one today so take it easy and stay hydrated..."

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

"You forgot to pick up the dry cleaning. It's written all over your face."

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

Easy chair exercise machines

'Hey, boss, what's a 7 letter work starting with 'w' that represents what I should be doing rather than solving crossword puzzles?'

Invaders from Planet Manava.

"I #*#*#* hate gardening, I'd much rather be at work!!"

'Work's the greatest thing on earth... so I'm saving some up for tomorrow!'

'Despite her numerous advanced degrees, Dr.Bessie couldn't keep her mouth from watering.'

"I might let the window box lay fallow, this season."

Man look over neighbours fence at a man mowing his lawn. He is wearing a suit of armour to protect him from stones being thrown up by mower.

"The pastor can't be disturbed. He's preparing for Sunday's service."

"What already?! If it weren't for my extraordinary willpower, I'd be exercising right now!"

A man imagines he looks like a farmer on a tractor on a ride-on mower and

"Man! I just had to pull another all-dayer."

Messing around on the internet when your boss thinks you're hard at work.

"Frankly, I could move a lot faster, but the truth is that I lack motivation..."

"He should be there by now. He left for work an hour ago."

'I asked you to clean the fridge, not declutter it.'

Why are you texting instead of working?