Moving Together T-Shirts

"I'd like to find a friend with benefits, preferably housing benefits."

LAY ZEE FUK

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"You've changed."

Cat Towels

'Sure, go ahead! Evolve! It's all the rage, I know! Have fun! I'll just sit here in this murky, primordial soup with nothing but plankton for company. Why should you stay here with your mother? The one who raised you, fed you...'

"I don't think the turkey's going to be done on time. That's the dishwasher."

"I guess opposites do attract. She's a real shaker, and he's such a grind."

Layer cake

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"

Love is when you watch television together.

'Is there any chance at all I could get you to stop leaving your pantyhouse laying around?!'

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

"I can't get used to being a grownup."

"Could we be getting a little too museum-quality?"

"I'm so glad we enjoy the same style foreplay."

"You're hogging the covers again!"

'Scratch 3 and 5. 3's had a fight and 5's just going to live together instead.'

'Mongrel' 'Bitch's' - His and Hers towels for Dogs.

"But if you leave New Orleans, you'll be just another sandwich."

"I use broccoli rabe as a litmus test."

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

Pyjama party

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?

Bed Seasons

"It's not the paranormal activity that bothers me so much as the passive aggression."

'I don't think that's what they mean by reducing the wine.'

'It's time to move out when Mom says...'

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

'Next, time, we'll meet at my place.'

Unconditional Loveseat

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'

"What's so wrong with always living in the present?"