Moving To Suburbs T-Shirts

A corner market is taken over by suburban sprawl.

'Sure it's a long commute, but I can decompress when I'm home.'

"Ahhh... close enough."

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"I don't know why you always have to choose the same hide-and-go-seek hiding spot that I do, Tommy!"

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

Picking pastries.

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

'Humans are so considerate: They put perches like these for us on every one of their houses...'

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

Superman flies Batman over a suburban neighborhood.

"Entering Minivan Territory: Healthy Snacks Strictly Enforced

To be honest, I'd just as soon as lay in the yard, but he so looks forward to it.

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

'I've never opened her up on the highway, but I get great mileage in the city!'

"No one uses Facebook anymore. I'm on this new thing called make-believe."

"Don't you think you're taking this whole, 'neighbourhood watch' thing a little too serious, dear?"

"The homes in this area are beautiful."

"Greetings, Earthling. How are the schools?"

"Nice family you’ve got there. Too bad if anything were to happen to them."

''Now we're the only yard in the block with a blue apple tree!'

We're looking for a quiet neighborhood where everyone feeds us because they all believe we belong to them.

"Don't let him get to you. I'm sure there are lots of people you didn't invite."

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

'...And as suburban sprawl continues to grow, many people are finding themselves living uncomfortably close to their wildlife neighbors.'

It's from the homeowners association --- They want me to stop leaving my worries on the doorstep.

Beware of the Lawn

'The sleepover was great Mum: Timmy's house is a pigsty just like ours...'

"I'm looking for something that says country-but-only-an-hour-and-a-half-drive-from-the-city."

"I want to live in a neighborhood where I can walk around at night."

Madison Avenue and Maple Street

'Hoy Mr Woodpecker: Some of us are trying to sleep here!'

Tortured Plank