Moving To An English-speaking Country Gifts

Learn yourself English.

New Guy.

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

Washington D.C., Acronym Capital of the World

"Hello, son. I suppose chicken farming doesn't seem so bad now."

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

Piggy bank #6: Union Jack.

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

'Yes, grammar rules do evolve over time, but making up your own to 'stay ahead of the curve' won't work in this English class!'

Vaccination Passport

Technological Dependence.

Airport

A man looking into a mirror saying "HA!"; his reflection looking back at him from the mirror is saying "!AH".

'The problem with migrating is that the roaming charges for my mobile phone are enormous...'

Welsh practice launches formal objection to 'unmanageable' new housing.

The American Tearoom, Moscow

The Airport.

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

'Your luggage went to Bosnia-Herzegovina, sir, and I'm afraid they're holding it for ransom.'

'HA! This time, I thought of my passport! It's right here, in my jackets' inside-pocket!'

Plain English group.

New Curriculum Timetable - All in Cantonese.

Arrivals, departures & limbo.

"Can you folks handle firearms?"

"You do not have a QR-Code."

"Can I interest you in our frequent flyer scheme?"

Foreigner ready for the hunt

"Our immigration lawyer is now living in Guatemala."

'My teacher said the school has tough new standards and I need to improve my vocabulary. What's 'Vocabulary'?'

'Sorry buddy, read the sign. That means no ifs, ands, or buts.'

"No, I'm a transplant."

"Honey, is the car filled up? My project here is finished and after my lunch I'm taking a new job in South America."