Moving To A New Home With A Porch Gifts

"I believe jazz did come up the Mississippi, Ted, but not quite as far as East Moline."

Let's get organized

Domestic Superheroes!!

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

Painting by the numbers for adults

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

Doing the borders.

Plants Cheer as They Get Watered.

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

Second hand furniture.

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

Lazy Octopus

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

Painting the Ceiling

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

"Man's best friends."

"I'm thinking of turning this home office into a man-cubicle."

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

Yardless: Please help

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

Schubert's Unfinished Basement