Moving To A Care Home Pillows

To make taking their daily array of medicines more fun, many seniors are using the new Pill-A-Pult.

'Batteries not included, it's a real cat.'

'To summarise the tariffs, sympathy is £19/day, empathy £27 and obsequy £34.'

Old woman with trolley full of medication.

"One of the joys of aging is that you can't hear the endless waffle of stupid old farts!"

Elderly care

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

Dog on man's stair lift

Every so often, Madeline gets carried away.

Senior Jeopardy!

"My service animal for Alzheimer's, sonny!"

'You see doctor I've been increasingly Forgetful.'

'You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake!'

'No need to yell son, I may be deaf, but I can still read.'

"Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks?"

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

"We settled into the one-level after our hips got bad."

'Come die with me.'

"The nurse thinks she's sneaky, but I know my meds are in the peanut butter."

"You want the truth? I can't remember the truth!"

'...makes a change from the zimmer frames!'

Remembering His Marbles

"While you're at it, can you do something with him? He can't remember a thing!"

"Sometimes I wonder about what our patients have to take."

"We're trying to give geriatrics a sexier image..."

'Ain't it great, Wally, to be over the hill and not under it!'

'Mr. Franklin. What did I tell you about wheelies in the hallway?'

"I hate it when I walk into a room and forget why I went in there. Especially when it's the bathroom."

'Be assured about you mother's memory - we back up all the residents onto hard disk once a week.'

Sunshine Retirement Villa: Pool, Golf, Tennis and Financial Planner.

'You're always bragging about what a good actor you are, so why don't you act your age?!'

"Meanwhile, in the Memory Care Unit... I said, your secret’s safe with me."

Home for the elderly

"It's Meals-on-Wheels, Mrs. Hokenstadt."